After all, they could have described the experience as being drunk, but given the fact that they were not in conditions to distinguish it, it would not have been a trustworthy description. Instead, since they were true machos, they described it as a strong pull that they were able to hold due to their extraordinary strength. They also said that a roll of armadillos was jumping on the back of several elephants while some skeletons used free shinbones to hit a few elf heads. Nevertheless, they were drunk and might have imagined things.
A one-armed elf recognised them and aimed at them with his cane. An explosion threw several floating swords and axes, one of which hit Kur in the head. Although he wouldn't admit it later, he was knocked out. He bled profusely over his face but, since everything shined “like the night in hell”, it was barely distinguishable.
“Nooooo” Said Irlue with all of his lungs. That is, the right one and the left one.
According to him, he used his anger to control several axes and throw them again against the elf, who had no chance. And with the help of the armadillos, he rescued the baby. Kur couldn't confirm it all, but once he woke up in the woods, everything had a normal colour and someone was crying next to him.
“Hey, I see we rescued the kid!” said Kur feeling an eye that was not going to be useful for a while, if at any time.
“We?”
“Of course ‘we’! Two of us entered into that plane and three of us exited it. Come on, give me some wine to soothe the pain.”
"In that case, 'we' have lost the B.A.R.C.E.L.E.T.," said Irlue passing on the wineskin.
“What?!” said Kur getting right up.
“Waaah!” answered the baby.
"When I— we exited the plane, I saw a weasel took it in between its teeth. The truth is rubies matched its hair, but I didn't have the chance to compliment it and I didn't dare to leave the baby caring for you. In addition, it growled at me, and in doing so, the rubies sparkled and this other wineskin appeared. Which is nice, because mine was almost empty.”
“Where did it go?!” said the dwarf ignoring the alcohol, “I’ll hunt that rodent with my axe!”
“Mustelid.”
“What?”
“The weasel is a mustelid, not a rodent.”
“Well, then I’ll hunt that mysterid with my axe!”
“But you have no depth vision”, said Irlue pointing at his eye, “ how will you hit it?”
“With enthusiasm,” growled Kur.
The wizard smiled, but got down next to some weeds and muttered some words. Several weasel paw prints shined on the ground.
“One day you should stop muttering and let me understand what you say.”
“Not even drunk,” said Irlue winking his eye.
They followed the prints as if they were will-o'-the-wisp until they found the weasel.
“Come here, you rat-eater!”
Kur jumped towards it, but a mixture of his blind eye and the animal agility made it impossible to hit. However, it showed its teeth letting the bracelet go. The dwarf picked the bracelet and threw it away scorched by its magic. Besides, the weasel took advantage of the distraction to bite his finger. It wasn't serious, but blood slid down his hand. At that moment, a roll of armadillos overwhelmed the mustelid. It let go of the dwarf finger and fought the armed opponents. It was way braver than them, so they turned into a ball and the thief protected the rubies with its body.
“Armadillos? Can’t you think of anything else when you’re drunk?”
“That’s it! Drunk!”
“What?”
“May the barkeeper forgive me.”
Irlue put the baby aside, then he wielded the wineskin that had appeared a few minutes before and, aiming towards the weasel, squeezed it. A squirt of wine hit the animal on its face. It tried to bite it, without success and unable to avoid taking a few gulps. He kept squeezing until he emptied the wineskin. Suddenly, the weasel changed its growl for a groan and, in one jump, it shot out between the trees.
“I withdraw my complaint. I love how you think when you’re drunk.”
“Waaaah!” agreed the baby.
Irlue picked him up and Kur hummed a dwarf song to the distress of both humans.
Soon the baby calmed down, probably to stop him from singing more. Then, they stared at the bracelet on the ground. Indeed, it had a star symbol carved over the metal linking the rubies.
Kur took out a kerchief from his satchel and tried to pick it up.
“Son of an orc! It burns through the kerchief...”
He took the axe and tried to hook it with its tip.
“Argh!” screamed letting the axe go, “I didn’t pick it! It cannot burn!”
“It’s magic,” said Irlue shrugging, “it doesn’t need to stick to the words of a contract as in tales. It can comply with the spirit of the incantation.”
"Well, neither you nor I are going to pick it up in this state".
“Nor the baby. He is too young.”
“We’ll need to sober up then.”
It would be better to leave the description of what happened next. It will be enough to say that most of the alcohol was inside their stomachs and, after a while, it wasn’t.
“Are you still drunk?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t feel well...”
“Do you need to wake up? Shall I slap you?”
“No, I don’t think it’s necessary.”
Kur got close to the bracelet and felt it with a few quick touches.
“It’s warm, but it doesn’t burn,” said picking it up.
“Perfect! So now that we have it, what does it do?”
“No idea. Magic, I guess.”
“Well, try something.”
Kur stretched his short arms and shook his fingers as if strangling the air, but nothing happened.
“Lightning!” said throwing his arms forward.
“Fire!” tried again. After thinking it through, he formed a circle with his hands and shouted again, “armadillos!”
“It doesn’t seem to be working. Can I try it?”
Irlue wore the B.A.R.C.E.L.E.T. on his wrist and threw his arms as Kur had done a minute before. Perhaps a bit more stylish. The rubies seemed to melt into the air until they became lightning that set a match to an unlucky tree.
"For my father's cave! I lose an eye and you win a magic wristband. You had a profitable adventure..."
“But I will not drink wine again without a burning sensation on my wrist. And if you are jealous, you can keep the baby.”
They focused again on the creature.
"Hey," said Kur, "did you notice that he has your eyes?"
“It’s true...”
"And he was about to be raised by elves, like you."
Irlue was thoughtful for a while.
“Now that I think of it, my first mentor on magic was one-armed.”
Both stayed silent for some time.
“I am really sorry about that translucent woman, but I think we should give it back.”
Irlue extended his arm with the rubies again and a portal emerged next to them. They took the baby and entered the other plane.